Persuasion

I was persuaded, on Wednesday, to stay home with this:

Well, actually, I was mandated to do so on account of his above-average fever. But let's be honest, that is a persuasive little face.

Speaking of persuasion, I feel compelled to share a round of first attempts at persuading an authority figure, courtesy of my 9th grade honors students:

These might work on me:

K: Mom, please let me go to the movies. It will cost you nothing as I will find a ride and pay for the ticket. Also, when I return I will be rejuvenated and probably more productive as far as my chores are concerned.

C: Mom, letting me walk to school would save you gas money. Also, I will burn more energy which will make me calmer and more willing to eat your dinner.

A: Mom, I need a cell phone!! What if, one day, I get lost or in a bad situation (even though you always tell me not to do such a thing) and no one is around? I won't be able to call you or the police to come and save me.

B: Mom, can I go to the movies with friends? You won't have to worry about me for at least 2 hours and you can do whatever you want with that time. Plus, you won't have to make me dinner.

M: The best, most beautifulest, wonderful mom in the whole wide world belongs to me. I am a focused, hardworking girl for my age and I think I should be able to throw a bon fire party for my birthday with no parental figures attending. Remember, I am very responsible!

Driving-related hilarity:

S: Mom and Dad, can you guys stop yelling at me when I drive? It stresses me out and if you keep it up I'll crash or have a heart attack someday.

E: Hey mom, you should get me a car for my birthday! If I never get a car, then how can I go places in the life? Don't you want me to go places in life?

Extreme Sports:

J: Dad, I know you think he's too old, but honestly, he's a 4.0 student who goes to church twice every Sunday and Monday. And he already knows that I would never do anything extreme with anyone until I'm married.

My two favorites:

J: Mom, you should let me go to a musical theater camp over the summer because it will allow me to gain more experience in that field. It will also allow me to learn under different teachers and meet other people interested in this profession.

C: Dear Albus Dumbledore, Being arguable the best wizard of all time, you should be astute enough to recognize real magical talent when you see it. Therefore, I plead with you to accept me, being insanely un-mugglish and exceptionally magical, into you wonderful school, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Juliet Always Dies

I am supposedly editing Romeo and Juliet literary analysis rough drafts as we speak. But between the invalidity of "young love" and the submissive role of women in the play I am feeling a little forelorn myself. Somehow these papers reek with cynicism and I am starting to wonder: "Did I put these ideas in your head, or did you come up with this stuff on your own?" I mean, it's still a good story, right? We might have to spend a day talking about all the puppy dog and rainbow parts or something. Did I forget to mention the puppy dog parts?!?

While we are on the subject of star-crossedness, let me just briefly mention the season premiere of 'Lost'. I have very little of my own insight to lend, but have done quite a bit of reading up on what others think and it has sparked some things for me. Our beloved survivors are now operating in what the producers are calling a "flash sideways"--as I see it there are three possibilities: 1. Jughead was successful in resetting time therefore allowing Oceanic flight 815 to avoid crashing on the island; 2. it was not and the survivors have simply been catupulted into the future along with the chains that bind them to their island nemesis; or 3. Jughead was successful in the eyes of Destiny, catupulting our survivors into the future along with the chains that secure them to their star-crossed lover, The Island. Or it could be all of them. I'm not sure, but the point here is JULIET!

Juliet dies in the island "flash sideways" (there is no good way to make that singular--sideway?), but not before thinking (a thought extracted from her cold dead brain by resident ghost whisperer Miles Straume) "...it...worked...[cough]...[sputter]..." What the what?!? does that mean? I don't know, but here is how I bring things back around for you and whilst I do so please remember that everything matters. Don't be like my husband, who, upon my gasp at the title "Shut the Door. Have a Seat." appearing on screen to prelude the season three finale of Mad Men said, "The title does not always mean something huge." Really, it was like a cry for help which resulted in the pausing of the show so that I could deliver a thirty-minute lecture on allusion and the various literary implications of said title. The thesis of this lecture: Everything means something. Elizabeth Mitchell's character is not named Juliet because the writers thought it sounded pretty. She has been a straddler of fences in an ancient feud. She has gone behind her parental figure (Ben)'s back and fallen in love with someone from the other side (Jack. And then Sawyer.). She has tricked that evil temptress Fate. Thwarted her plan, if you will. But ultimately, the story always ends the same. Juliet dies. She has to. It is her destiny.

I think what comes from her death will be monumental in determining the outcome for our survivors. Will it be in vain, or will she serve as a sacrificial lamb on an alter to "peace of mind"?

RIP Juliet. I didn't really like you until you became a mechanic in the Dharma Initiative in 1977 and lived in a house with Sawyer. But I'm sad to see you go.