Thankful For Weekends

One of the best things about being a teacher is getting to go away from it all for various increments of time. Such as three-day weekends. Or, in this case, four-day weekends. Now that might seem brusque, but this is an emotional job--dealing with kids every day whose frontal lobes are not yet fully developed, resulting in their making terrible decisions and ridiculous statements such as: "Why was Hoover Jackson responsible for the Great Depression?" Blurgh.

In honor of being away from it all, these are the things I will not do this weekend:

1. Talk about the new 'Twilight' movie.
2. Really, talk about vampires in general.
3. Explain why, actually, that is not a complete sentence.
4. Erase pictures of giant animated mushrooms from table surfaces.
5. Overuse hand-sanitizer.
6. Respond to non-sequiters. (Student:"What day does Christmas Break start?" Me: "George and Lennie don't get a Christmas Break.")
7. Make up crazy stories about my personal life. (I was gone yesterday because I am actually working on a new reality show. It is about cat whispering. I am going to be the Cat Whisperer.)
8. Explain what "pants rabbits" are or why Curley has that glove full of vaseline.

Looking forward to a weekend full of intelligent adult conversation and over-the-top sarcasm. And I am not going to worry about whether or not people get it.